Don’t be that guy

We’ve all dealt with them, boys who come to you for relationship advice, asking you how to get girls to like them, or they complain that they’ve done it all, and their love interest still hasn’t touched their penis. they’re everywhere, these are the type of dudes that make me want to scratch my skin off. Let’s look at this hypothetically and call him Brian, your friend Brian messages you, to subtly let you know he’s head over heels for a lady, lets call her, Carmen, Carmen is Brian’s “Rosaline” and he’s wondering why girls won’t throw their panties at him, ever, cause he’s such a nice guy, and has a job, goals, and a decent bank statement and credit score, what more does she want, he asks?? and you’re just sitting there thinking of a way to let Brian know, that maybe she’s just not that into you, because you’re not his type. oh, and then, he tells you his tragic life story and how no one ever fell for him the way he falls for them, and how frustrated and angry it makes him, and he confides in you, that sometimes it makes him angry enough to punch walls. (I think Brian needs therapy) or maybe he says it you, he tells you that you’re his Carmen.

and then, Brian says the following, “if i’m friends with her for too long, she will put me in the friend zone and then I really won’t have a chance”

at this point, I want to yell at Brian through a megaphone, “THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A FRIEND ZONE, BRIAN!!!!!”

but, instead, I turn to Brian, and I ask, “What is a friend zone, Brian”

and he says “its the point of no return, once you’re in the friend zone, you don’t come out and I will never touch her boobies”

So, here’s my advice for all you Carmens and Rosalines out there..

A) DO NOT under any circumstances fall for their sad sympathy inducing friend zone story

B) DO NOT tell yourself you should give them a chance, because they’re nice

C) DO NOT accept any gifts or material things he wants to offer you, ever.

D) DO make it clear, that you’re not interested in a romantic relationship.

E) DO tell the authorities if you have made yourself clear, but fear for your safety.

F) DO continue to carry on as your bad self.

You may even feel bad for not having those types of feelings for Brian, but always remember to keep your cool, cause you don’t want that fool, and this kind of treatment is unfair.

I’m not saying ALL your male friends will pull this crap on you, because there are guys out there who fully understand that women are not objects where kindness and friendship will be exchanged for a romantic/sexual relationship. These men, restore my faith in humanity. (YAY!)

but, if you’re like me, and you’ve had too much experience with guys whom always make you feel guilty for their actions and feelings, it is our job to inform them, that nothing is owed to them for their friendship. And maybe, One day in the future we will be a step closer to not dealing with this kind of shenanigans.

BUT, if you’ve been friends with Brian, and you’ve had more than platonic feelings for him, and now he finally confessed his love for you, and its no longer unrequited love, then,

Mazel Tov

always, ML


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